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Denial and reflection about friends making little to no attempt to turn vegan after education.

Posted by RawVeganGamer on December 21, 2015 at 8:42pm in Veganism

     I got a slight cold. I'm trying to meditate and take it easy. Yet, with meditation comes reflection, whether you want to reflect or not.

       I'm having trouble that I've told my friends about the horrors of factory farming, how a vegan diet is healthy, and so forth. Yet, there seems to be no noticeable change. This bothers me. On some level I just want to be in denial about my friends' callousness.

      Part of me just wants to turn my back on the entire vegan lifestyle. Just forget everything that I've learned and go back to eating the way I was before. I see how my friends continue to buy animal products regardless of what I tell them. 

       Just bummed about the entire exchange. I seem to go through a pattern. Learn a bunch about veganism, tell me friends, and get angry and depressed when they don't change. I keep thinking if I can tell them the right set of facts they will modify their behavior.

       I seem to be in denial about what I've told my friends. I mean I did show them the links and tell them the details. I remember them responding. Sadness. I don't want to perceive the truth about my friends. Who would? 

       Part of me wants to push harder. Yet, I don't want to make them angry. Its part of the reason I fight with strangers on the internet. Way easier to fight with strangers than your friends.

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Replies

  • BeachVegan December 23, 2015 at 9:20am

    From what I have seen people with the least sense of self will be the most apathetic about cruelty to animals and what they do.  It is like they cant go against the mainstream because they would lose themselves... but I still have hope for them.  You can have empathy for your friends and hope for them, but see yourself as your own person.  

  • Mary December 22, 2015 at 4:31pm

    the way I look at it is that everyone is on their own journey, it's not you who decides how they travel along. But you have an opportunity to be a shining star, enjoy veganism, be healthy and just let them see you for themselves. 

    • RawVeganGamer > Mary December 22, 2015 at 6:52pm

                  I can't force them to be vegan. I have to give them the facts or otherwise I will feel guilty. Think about it, if my friends die within five years, and I live another 50+ years. That's 45+ years of guilt if I don't try. I've found the best way to avoid guilt is to give my best. Even if I fail, I can at least comfort myself with the fact that I did all I possibly could.

  • RawVeganGamer December 22, 2015 at 2:50pm

         I've been mulling over myself versus my friends. There's some key differences. My friends tell me to try a new free video game or lend me a movie to watch, and I do as they request. Yet, my friends aren't so easily convinced to even try something new or watch a free movie or video game. This isn't anything about vegan. 

      

          To sum up how I am convinced is first I am open minded and willing to try new things/idea as long as the cost is low. Then, I research whatever it is to exhaustion or near exhaustion. After the research I make a decision. I tend to be an early adapter.

           Lets say it takes 50 repetitions or so to convince me to research the vegan diet. Then, from there I find the other 250 repetitions to convince myself.

         My friends seem to operate differently. More like "hey everyone is going to this bar lets go too." Basically picking what is popular over rational decision making. I might check out a bar that is very popular but only from a psychology point of view. Why is this bar so popular? Its dirty, over crowded, and over priced.

       

           Or everyone plays World of Warcraft so I will play too. My friends' choices seem very illogical to me.

          "If it bothers you so much that your friends won't convert to your lifestyle then the obvious choice would be to get new friends that support your current lifestyle. " Raven-Boo Joseph

          I've never been that great at making new friends. Besides, I feel a certain loyalty to my current friends. Sure, I've found some vegans but they don't share the same interests as me. There seems to be a lack of connection. I'll sit at a local vegan cafe and try to talk to them, but everyone seems so busy.

         I don't seem to fit in anywhere anymore. The gamers I hang out with don't seem to care about veganism. The vegans I attempt to hang out with seem too jittery. Where are they going and why the rush? 

         Another problem with me is I listen, I really listen. Some of the vegans I hang out with talk fast and don't back up their claims with scientific evidence. I'm like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait? You said what? But they have already moved onto the next subject. I just can't handle the difference in our speed.

        I feel like I've been on a roller coaster after hanging out with them. I can't even remember every word that was said, let alone successfully fact check every phrase. The process can be exhausting. Is this fact or this an arbitrary opinion?

           In summary, the vegans I've met in real life seem to incompatible with me. I like to walk slowly and purposely. Communicate slowly, and make sure I get my facts right. Each step I take I make sure I keep the correct posture, my breathing is normal, stride with purpose, and my mind clear.

     

           Meanwhile the other vegans bounce around like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. After a while I'm like I have no clue what you are talking about or what is going on here? Note, not all vegans are this way. Yet, there is enough of them to cause me to flee. How long can a person take hanging around several Tiggers?

    http://winniethepooh.disney.com/tigger

       

  • pradtf December 22, 2015 at 8:19am

    I'm having trouble that I've told my friends about the horrors of factory farming, how a vegan diet is healthy, and so forth. Yet, there seems to be no noticeable change. This bothers me. On some level I just want to be in denial about my friends' callousness.

    part of this is being a good and determined salesperson:

    1) you don't waste your time with outright bad customers

    2) you work with potentially good customers (including those who emerge from #1)

    some members of your species tend to be bogged down with their own inertia. overcoming this inertia requires persistence. hence:

    Fifty Repetitions

    in friendship,

    prad

    • RawVeganGamer > pradtf December 22, 2015 at 9:52am

            There is a lot of truth in the fifty repetitions. It took a lot, I mean a lot for me to even try veganism. Then, it took copious amounts of evidence from scientific peer reviewed journals to convince my mind to change to a vegan lifestyle. When I first joined 30bananasaday, I still had a lot of fear in my heart and mind about veganism.

            My way of dealing with my doubts is to gather more facts. Maybe I need to be more patient with my friends and realize just how much information I had to process before I would change. For me the number of repetitions was closer to 300. Perhaps my friends are closer to 500.

             Remember, I am a gamer and so are many of my friends. The denial is strong with gamers. We take one look at the outside world with all the cars, pollution, and crime. Then, we say "nuts to that" barricade ourselves in our rooms and hide.

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