Posted by kt on December 23, 2009 at 6:10am in Main Chat
My sister has just returned from uni for Christmas. She was cooking bacon and just started arguing with me saying both her and my mum were concerned that I was hardly eating. I could do with having some of the pasta she was making. I was making a 10 banana smoothie at the time which as we know is a lot of calories and I didn't want to but I ended up snapping. I really need advice on how to deal with this pressure to eat cooked food. I research 801010 all the time and how do I convey all of that in 5 minutes?
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What I've noticed is that when I live with an attitude of social fear about my diet, that is EXACTLY what I receive: social fear about my diet!!
Don't hide in corners about your diet. If you wear your banana smoothie 'stache, wear it thick and proud!!
I don't know about you, but I've had a history of eating disorders in the past. So when I started with the whole "raw food 'thing'", close friends and family became a little concerned that I was just masking a disorder still. It is up to YOU to be the shining example of vitality. If you are actually feeling great eating this way, don't shy away from it. People will see how healthy you are!
Today? My friends and family are no where near concerned about my health! Isn't that amazing? It doesn't happen over night though. I remember when I started to live my life proudly is when it started to shift the reaction of others. Instead of family members gawking when I'd bring pounds of citrus over on Easter to hand juice for everyone...they would look past the citrus quickly and see me...glowing, happy, the happiest they've ever seen their grand daughter, their sister, their daughter...and they would just be happy for me and say, "Megan, you look SO healthy!"
People will be happy for you and for your lifestyle, but you have to live it proudly. No hiding here :)
jnanda lampman > megantheveganDecember 23, 2009 at 4:19pm
Megan - what a wonderful post! I agree. I have definitely found when I am confident about something in my life, it goes a long ways and I am not as subject to outside criticism. I know myself, and I don't have the desire for approval or to convince others my way is best. If they ask for ideas and help - then I am always ready to share and be there.
I also JUST got a 'you might not want to eat so many bananas...' comment to which I respond similarly above. And add in a - eating this way makes me feel really good, I have vitality and my mood is really even (important point for me), so I'll continue with this, and if it starts not working for me then I'll go from there and make whatever changes DO make me feel healthy and strong.
Making that last point I find is really important - whilst some may feel that's not standing my 811 ground; others fears are usually that you/we are taking things to the extreme in a disordered fashion, when in fact we are being aware and responding healthfully to our bodymind. Its nice to communicate this awareness and flexibility in what we're doing. I found people back down in the long term. Additionally as they see the changes and benefits you will go through and share with them.
Also when people make comments about what you're eating in the context of their diets - I explain that the comparison can't really be made that way, as the foods are working differently in the body depending on everything else that is being put in your mouth (layman's kind of response).
I don't know how long you've been on the 811 path, but as with anything it takes a while to be really comfortable with our choices in face of such opposition.
Also, it's hard not to take the view that 'other people will not change' and get caught up emotionally about that. We all need education about things, and they are yet to receive it about diet (in the non-'dieting' sense) and health - you will ultimately be a source of this information for them if they reach a point where everything comes together for them to look at what they chow down. And my experience is people can change their views (not necessarily their behaviours though) - not dissimilar to us. We must experience the benefits to commit, and they must experience YOU, raw, to back off essentially ;)
Wow these are really great comments, unfortunately the isolation tonight resonates with me a bit! I hate arguing with my sister and now shes gone to work but I hope shes alright about it tomorrow. I think the diet I have is just so radical to them that it is hard for them to understand it.
Print out pictures of big strong raw vegans (like me) from this web site and show them to anyone who tries to say raw vegans are necessarily skinny. Get a copy of Dr Grahams book "Nutrition and Athletic Performance" and show them the long list of vegan, many raw, super athletes in the back. Eat plenty of food and workout regularly, then invite them to an athletic contest like pushups, pullups, situps, running, etc.
Of course, this all assumes they're rational which is a big assumption. Most people die from dietary toxemia in the developed world, but they keep on eating crap anyway. I sure ate my share of it. You can know everything about 811 and it won't persuade most people. People see what they want and facts rarely get in the way.
Are you actually underweight according to a BMI chart? If you are, then maybe they have a point and you should eat more and exercise. If your just slim by our fat society standards, then as long as you know your at a healthy weight all is good. Do you family members know what a proper weight is? Maybe they've never even heard of a BMI chart?
lol i know, i did mention cals and she said 'why do you care about calories - you could do with putting on some weight!' so I left it. I think I am just going to try and ignore it, I've said that I accept and don't criticise her diet and I hope she can do the same for me.
My BMI is 18.5 so I think I am right on the cusp of normal weight so i would like to put on a bit of weight. But I have felt great I havent been on the diet long- about a month, and my exercise has dramatically increased so I think thats why I am this weight. But I am by no means anorexic and my family have no idea about fruit and calories and keep complaining about all the fruit I am buying because they don't understand why I am doing this- because I feel better!? Thanks for the advice its all really good I know deep down that I have to show that I am thriving and that it may take time for them to actually accept this.
Replies
Don't hide in corners about your diet. If you wear your banana smoothie 'stache, wear it thick and proud!!
I don't know about you, but I've had a history of eating disorders in the past. So when I started with the whole "raw food 'thing'", close friends and family became a little concerned that I was just masking a disorder still. It is up to YOU to be the shining example of vitality. If you are actually feeling great eating this way, don't shy away from it. People will see how healthy you are!
Today? My friends and family are no where near concerned about my health! Isn't that amazing? It doesn't happen over night though. I remember when I started to live my life proudly is when it started to shift the reaction of others. Instead of family members gawking when I'd bring pounds of citrus over on Easter to hand juice for everyone...they would look past the citrus quickly and see me...glowing, happy, the happiest they've ever seen their grand daughter, their sister, their daughter...and they would just be happy for me and say, "Megan, you look SO healthy!"
People will be happy for you and for your lifestyle, but you have to live it proudly. No hiding here :)
I also JUST got a 'you might not want to eat so many bananas...' comment to which I respond similarly above. And add in a - eating this way makes me feel really good, I have vitality and my mood is really even (important point for me), so I'll continue with this, and if it starts not working for me then I'll go from there and make whatever changes DO make me feel healthy and strong.
Making that last point I find is really important - whilst some may feel that's not standing my 811 ground; others fears are usually that you/we are taking things to the extreme in a disordered fashion, when in fact we are being aware and responding healthfully to our bodymind. Its nice to communicate this awareness and flexibility in what we're doing. I found people back down in the long term. Additionally as they see the changes and benefits you will go through and share with them.
Also when people make comments about what you're eating in the context of their diets - I explain that the comparison can't really be made that way, as the foods are working differently in the body depending on everything else that is being put in your mouth (layman's kind of response).
I don't know how long you've been on the 811 path, but as with anything it takes a while to be really comfortable with our choices in face of such opposition.
Also, it's hard not to take the view that 'other people will not change' and get caught up emotionally about that. We all need education about things, and they are yet to receive it about diet (in the non-'dieting' sense) and health - you will ultimately be a source of this information for them if they reach a point where everything comes together for them to look at what they chow down. And my experience is people can change their views (not necessarily their behaviours though) - not dissimilar to us. We must experience the benefits to commit, and they must experience YOU, raw, to back off essentially ;)
Good luck.
Of course, this all assumes they're rational which is a big assumption. Most people die from dietary toxemia in the developed world, but they keep on eating crap anyway. I sure ate my share of it. You can know everything about 811 and it won't persuade most people. People see what they want and facts rarely get in the way.
Are you actually underweight according to a BMI chart? If you are, then maybe they have a point and you should eat more and exercise. If your just slim by our fat society standards, then as long as you know your at a healthy weight all is good. Do you family members know what a proper weight is? Maybe they've never even heard of a BMI chart?
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