I have been stuck with this relationship.....I do love him in a sense but at the same time everytime i want to go out and run or do some form of excersize the man just gets mad because im not tending to his every need.....but at the same time im afraid of being alone without anyone to talk to at night or confide in he does listen to me in a sense but his responses to what i say is like ugh I have dumped him in the past at least 2 times now but the last time he just got so needy and i fell for it again and now im at that point where i just want to be friends with him im so confused....he does not approve of my new life style at all why do i still put up with this? is it something I have yet to resolve inside myself yet? i thought i got out of the victim mindset but this clearly shows i have not....i need advice iv tried this on my own iv tried owning up to the man but he just gets so pissed at me [sorry for language] i am 23 he is 26 its like when im not talking to him during the day it is a good day and only time i feel lonely is at night and i guess thats where he is good for on some days he is a good person but days like today he is an utter asshole....he has a caring personality but it doesnt show through enough i dont know what to do should i just dump him and move on? im sure i need to but im not one to be mean or cruel or even dump someone hence is why im always the one to get dumped this is the first time iv ever dumped someone but iv fallen back with him twice now...what do i do to stay away from him? he is a huge negative as to why i have not moved fully on with this new life style.....but some part of me wants to try and get him in on it but i know he never will.....some people never change! i just dont know what to do....i feel like this sounds to whiney >.< iv never ever asked for relationship help before so not sure how to word it. we do speak during the day but i try to avoid it because those days is when he expects me to respond to him instantly then fusses at me if i dont.
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thank you. yeah i did today finally! all the advice helped me. wasnt sure how to go about bringing it up but you all have helped me get that extra little courage.
When this is all over, you will not be alone, once you leave him you will get to do everything you wanted to do on this lifestyle that he would always get upset about. So you'll be busy and will not even think about the situation. But right now, it looks as if this relationship is ruining your physical and mental health, which is toxic. Please consider doing the right thing :) hope this helps!
i agree yes definitely and i finally got the courage today to talk to him told him i think we are better off being friends and as i told Yana above about how we do better as friends anyway than a couple because when we are friends we talk easier and he does not have that controling side or yells at me. thank you all for the advice i feel better today not so stressed out like I was. everyone here is so nice i am so thankful for all of you ^_^ when times seem bad i just come on here and chat and i feel better after and it makes me so happy! i still love him yes but i think its more of a brother sister kind of love verses a relationship thing. you know that kind of friendship love. he still doesnt like my lifestyle but as you have said i wont be focused to much on being lonely because ill be working on this lifestyle and finally able to go for a walk without coming back to stress. your advice helped a lot along with the others. thanks so much! maybe we can be friends :D never know.
I've been in a similar situation. Here is what I have to say, if you wanna know :-)
You clearly love him, which is why you can't let go. But mostly he and the way you two live your life together became a habit. It's hard to move on and change your life because that's what's gonna happen after you broke up. I feel like there are way more cons than pros because the question in the end is always: are be stronger than our differencies? Can we make it? Can he change? Should I change?
You should not make your partner the way you want him, you should love him for who he is which seems to me that you only do for some parts of his character. It seems to me that you want to make him somebody he is not.
I would talk to him about it and see what happens but what I can read out of this is:
It bothers you. It's standing in your way and you are worring about things you should not.
It will not make you happy longterm like HCV and the longer you hold on to this the more it will depress you.
Search your freedom, do what you want and don't worry about things that are in your hand to change. If you can and want to change it, do it. If you don't then be aware that this frustration will go on for ??? quite longer?
Do what you think is right.Tell me what happened. I'm curious.
All the best!
Well I talked to him told him everything for the first time in a long time told him how i was feeling told him what I wanted in life told him that i do love him but i can not stand the parts of him that get so demanding and bossy then i said i just wanted to be friends because when we were friends things were fine he was not controlling he was not bossy i do love him but i do not love his bossy side i think i love him more as a friend than a lover if that makes sense. i think he feels that same way to it seems whenever we get into a relationship those things change suddenly and we cant speak to each other like we can as friends thank you for your advice on this it was hard for me to post this i feel better today after talking to him all of you have helped me get the strength because ill get there myself but then chicken out and not say anything at all. i need to not do that. but we are friends and he doesnt hate me like i feared he would.
I won't say it nicely :D
Get the f@#k away from him! Sheesh!!
Do you honestly want a life full of this? I'm sure you know that you can do better...and anyways...being on your own isn't all that bad. You have to like yourself more than putting up with this doosh surely?!?
I suggest you eat a bag of dates and tell him it is over...for good this time! And stick to it!
Good luck <3
Lol. thanks girl and i was carbed up when i spoke to him today. things went smoother than i was anticipating. we do better as friends than a couple thanks girl! all of you helped me get the courage to speak lol i always get there myself but then when im about to talk to him i shrug it off and tell myself another time this time i did not do it i flat out started talking about everything for once in a long time not scared of how he will react.
Good girl...proud of you <3 It won't take long before you're looking back and thinking 'What the heck was I wasting my time in that relationship for??'
You are going to have a beautiful vegan life and if you find a vegan man to share it with, then that will be icing on that vegan cake :)
Vegan <3